Well, the eyes are still a bit shifty. The weekend was a complete write-off, pretty hard to do much more than wander for a few moments at a time across a room and find a new comfortable spot.
In the midst of absolute boredom & fatigue, your sub-conscious companion tends to pipe-up a bit more, even without an invitation. Consciousness will wake you by pointing out the obvious, and by placing maddeningly simple orders into your head. "Take the cover off, you're too hot." "You're hungry." "You're sick." Too bad I didn't have the ability to respond coherently...I'd like to think I'd have put him in his place.
Fatigue, coupled with the inability to read or use my eyes consistently, bore a bit more on my sanity. It was too difficult to check email, read and *gasp* watch football. The eyes are still shaky, but are recovering this afternoon...hopefully I'll be up to full form tomorrow.
Just got back from the docs where they took blood levels. It was about all I could do to make it in & out of the place...feels like I'm 90 years old, and God knows have I have to visit the bathroom as consistently. Somehow (great news!) all my blood levels are at or above normal--this is great for treatment.
Though now my wife holds onto the paper claiming I'm a faker because it clinically says I'm just fine. In fact, while I struggled to stand in the elevator full of various other docs, nurses and patients--while I'm grasping onto the wall trying to prevent full-collapse, my wife not-so-quietly utters "you need to lay off the sauce". Nice. That's why I married her. At least that's what I tell myself now.
This week should be more recovery, so hopefully I'll be back in full form shortly...assuming these pesky eyes begin working again.
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6 comments:
Geoff,
Have been reading your comments along the way here after you have taken some treatments. The question that comes to my mind, what is left of it at this point in life, is whether what you are experiencing now is any different than before you started treatments??? Perhaps your beautiful wife may wish to comment on this????
Uncle Jon
Welllll, Geoff - I never would have imagined that through the haze of chemo would come such expressive prose ... I am so glad to see you emerging from the expected weekend fog with your spirit and sense of humour intact! Enjoy your 2 weeks of recovery, being spoiled by Melissa's TLC, laced with her wit to keep you on your toes, figuratively. Remember to visualise those WBCs growing in strength & numbers! Great to know that you are tolerating the treatments well.
No need to guess what will be at the top of our Canadian Thanksgiving list - heartfelt thanks that you & Melissa have each other as hold-fasts during this time.
Our love to both of you - A. Tessa and all the family
Geoff,
Your courage, strength of spirit and humour are my inspiration my son. Hugs to you and Melissa!
Love,
Mom
Geoff,
You are so up beat considering what you feel like. I doubt if I could stay that "up". I love you and will call either tonight and if you don't answer, in the morning.
There is not a moment that goes by that we are not thinking of you. Your attitude will beat anything.
Dad and Sue
Geoff:
I love your aggressive sense of humor. Must have inherited that from both the Freeman and deSouza, including your Uncle Dickie. Though his is a bit warped. I am sure you will see gradual improvement in how you feel as the days pass- in preparation for the next round. Knowing what to expect going forward will help the next time around. Hope your treatments will permit church attendance before the last phase, which will -no doubt - restrict that and being out in the public. Hang in there. Uncle Dick
Geoff,
I hate to say that I smile when I read your posts, because its not a great thing to smile at, but I smile because you are funny, you are strong and you amaze me. You truly will get through this, I am so glad you and Melissa have each other, just take it as easy as possible, and Adam and I think of you everyday!
Love Niki
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